We've read of people with uncontrolled anger who literally killsd themselves decades before their time - people dying at the age of thirty eight or forty five who otherwise might live to sixty five or eighty. This is serious uncontrolled rage can kill you. It drastically jolts up your blood pressure and your heart rate. You can stroke out or have a heart attack and die on the spot. A study found that the more hostile men were, the greater their chances of heart disease. Or you can become totally irrational and accidentally kill yourself and/ or others, as in the many cases of rasd rage leading to highway duels to the death.
Of course, we are not talking about getting a little irritated now and then, just a little upset and snappy. We all have periods where things grate on our nerves, we get a little worked up.
But they are doing as much damage to themselves as to others. As some say, "Its not just what you eat; its what's eating you that counts."
Anger is natural human emotion, and some times you should feel angry. Anger has its good side - namely, when it motivates us to critique and challenge unjust situations. Without a sense of righteous indignations, crimes might not get reported, aggression might not be stopped, and people might not stand up for the downtrodden. Would people be as willing to stand up for their own rights in the face of harassment, bullying, and other forms of mistreatment?
So we are not telling you to ignore anger, pretend that it does not exist, repress it deep within the subconscious, or any kind of irrational move like that. Instead, we're suggesting you learn to keep anger proportionate to what caused it, to channel anger towards reasonable solution, and to release angry feelings lest the bottled up pressure explode in negative ways.
Anger has gone too far when the urge to do something irrational is overwhelming. For instance, you want to kill the other person or yourself or both. You're willing to risk life and limb to catch the driver who cut you off on the interstate. You're willing to throw away your job or marriage or other relationship. You are truly making a mountain out of a molehill.
Anger is also disproportionable when you find yourself enjoying the adrenaline "high" you get from feeling so anger. There is a kind of rush as the body prepares itself for the famous "fight or flight" response. Some people get off on such felling and thus actively seek them, whether consciously or not.
Anger is disproportionate, too, when the emotion merely expresses itself but does not lead toward meaningful solution. You enjoy talking about the cause of anger, relive the experience, and may even engage in revenge fantasies, but you're unwilling to actually do anything to improve the situation that caused the anger.
If your anger is disproportionate or out of control, try these suggestion :
Hopefully the above technique will see you through to some satisfactory resolution during an angry encounter. But afterwards, you still may feel as if you have stream coming out of your ears.